We are wired for relationships, but that doesn’t mean they are always easy.
Most of the couples who find their way to me are in distress. The first call they make includes some version of “We just can’t stop fighting” or “We haven’t talked in weeks.”
I’ll hear that most began their relationships feeling connected and in love.
But with time, and a few life transitions, like having kids, moving, or getting older, conflicts have become harder to navigate. Couples say they feel stuck in a repetitive cycle of either feeling criticized or completely shut out, and a gulf of separation and disconnection in between.
There has been blame and defensiveness. Or maybe even bigger ruptures in the form of betrayal, such as infidelity, in need of repair.
It takes a lot of courage to reach out for couple therapy, especially when the common misconception is that it means your relationship is doomed. If you are like most of my clients, the conflict between you two is longstanding.
I’m here to help you navigate the disconnection, get a clear map of the emotions you feel, and work together to build emotional responsiveness and trust, restoring a deeper sense of connection and dependence, maybe even greater than you felt before.
I’m deeply engaged with my couples, invested in both partners, and care about you individually as much as I do for your relationship.
I believe a healthy relationship is rooted in interdependence — a balance between knowing oneself and being dependent on another.
I practice Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy (EFT), and you will often find me leaning in and slowing things down to get a clear understanding of what is happening not only between but within. If I don’t get it right the first time, I work hard to understand the second time around.
I don’t shy away from conflict, and I’m often using my own humanness as a point of reference. You’ll know that I, too, have been in couple therapy, and that my partner and I have a cycle all of our own.
You’ll also come to find that I know what it’s like to feel deeply connected and bonded, enriched in the benefits of being healthily attached.
I’m client-centered, which means while I’m a believer that our attachments help us heal, I do not prescribe to clients staying together nor that togetherness is required to stay connected.
My practice includes all different types of relationships, and I work to be culturally responsive and sensitive to the needs of my LGBTQIA+ and BIPOC clients. I let couples inform me about who they are, how they identify, and how they define their relationship, but I also seek to broaden my knowledge on client experiences.
My experience includes working with couples:
—partnered and in distress;
—starting a family;
—experiencing challenges in parenting;
—one or both partners dealing with relationship anxiety;
—as well as those who are breaking up or seeking a divorce.
I also work with couples wanting to address their:
—fighting with and blaming one another;
—lack of emotional and sexual intimacy;
—feelings of abandonment;
—disconnection and emotional distance.
After some time, clients who work with me often
express they feel:
—safer to express their feelings;
—deeply understood by their partners;
—connected and attached;
—able to get out of fights faster;
—and experience greater flexibility in relating to one another.
What can I expect at our first session and how long does therapy take?If this is your first time experiencing therapy, it can feel daunting and maybe even anxiety-provoking to talk with someone new. This is why I like to let clients know the first session is about you getting to tell me what’s happening -- or if you are coupled, what’s happening between you two -- and for me to listen, reflect back what I think I’m hearing, and make sure you feel understood. The first session is also an opportunity for you to ask questions about me and my practice. If for some reason we decide therapy or coaching is not a right fit for you I will work to provide you with a refferal. Every client is different and the issues that each client struggles with vary, so it’s difficult to say how long it will take. But what I can offer is I will be sure to routinely check in to see how therapy is going and if you feel like we are on the right track.
Due to Covid-19, are you offering sessions online? Do you work in person?"Currently, all sessions are exclusively online over a secure, HIPAA-approved form of web conferencing. In the future, once it is safe to resume in-person services, I plan to return to the office while also continuing to offer online services for those not ready to return or wanting greater flexibility with their sessions.
I don’t live in Los Angeles. Can we still work together?Yes — for both couples and individuals looking to work on something specific and would like to take a more targeted approach, I offer online coaching to those living in the United States and abroad. You can learn more about that service here.
What form of couple therapy do you use and is it effective?I am training to become certified in Emotionally Focused Therapy. Sometimes you might hear it referred to as EFT. You can learn more about it in depth here. The quick digest: EFT is a model of therapy rooted in the framework of adult love and attachments. It’s a nine-step, three-stage process of change helping couples resolve conflict and create more connection, stability, and safety within the body of their relationship. EFT helps clients connect to core feelings, emotions, and needs by way of engaging the couple to share these experiences with each other and deepen their bond. It can be a short-term model of change, but that all depends on the couple, the issues you are wanting to work through, and if either partner has experienced trauma.
How long are sessions, how much do you charge, and what forms of payment do you accept?"Individual 50 min sessions: $200 Couple 75 min sessions: $250 I accept payments through Venmo or Zelle. Currently, I do not offer a sliding scale, but these LA-based clinics do: https://www.womens-clinic.org https://www.relationalcenter.org https://www.antioch.edu/centers-institutes/aula-counseling-center/ https://sccc-la.org https://saturdaycenter.org https://www.counselingwest.com
Do you accept insurance?I do not accept insurance but can provide a “superbill” to submit for any out-of-network coverage you may have through your insurance. Please be advised that it will be up to you to determine eligibility for services. Some questions to consider when determining your eligibility: What are my benefits for mental health services? Does my insurance cover individual or couple therapy? How many visits am I allowed per year? Do I have a deductible to meet?
What is your cancellation policy?If you can’t make your appointment, please know that I require at least 24 hours to inform me of your need to cancel. If you need cancel the day of or do not show for your scheduled appointment, you will be required to pay the full cost of the session.
"One thing I’ve learned in the woods is that there is no such thing as random. Everything is steeped in meaning, colored by relationships, one thing with another."
Robin Wall Kimmerer